|
|
|
excerpts from
THE LIGHT & THE MIRROR
BY
Rabbi Dov Abraham Ben-Shorr
There once was a boy named Amelio. He would sit by the window and daydream about the outside world. It was so pretty and inviting. But he was stuck at home in the same old routine with the same old boring family. Amelio longed to be a part of the excitement and change he saw through his little window.
Then one day it happened, a sudden urge combined with a window of opportunity and little Amelio was out the door. The smile on his face never cracked as he adventured out into this world, he had only dreamed about. Soon, he became a part of this world, and the memory of his little home, and the family that he left there began to feel foreign. Sometimes, when the mood struck, he would venture near the home and peer in through the little window and marvel at the world within. It seemed so foreign. He wondered how he had ever lived there.
Now Amelio's family missed him (they really did) since the day he left. They would often look out his window, to see what he was up to, but every day they prayed that he would come home. Some of the things he did confused them, and they had long conversations about their wayward son; and some of the things he said embarrassed them (and him, though he didn't know it), but they still longed for his return. He was their boy after all, even if they didn't quite understand him. They would often send him letters inviting him home, telling him that there was always a place for him at the dinner table; the door was always open.
But Amelio had been out in the world for so long that he couldn't really read his family's handwriting. And when he understood the words, he mistook the context and tone. He saw the letters as a challenge to his very being, as opposed to an invitation to return to that being. The more letters he got, the more Amelio felt alienated by his family.
As the years went by, Amelio realized that the he wasn't so happy being separated from his family. His new home was far from the idyllic picture he had imagined it to be from his little window. Despite his feelings of alienation from them, he began to identify more and more with his family. He recognized that his new surroundings were not very healthy nor conducive to his survival. Yet, he found it impossible to go home. He said, to anyone that would listen that his family no longer recognized him as a member, and they didn't want him as a part of their home. All the family ever said was that when Amelio does come home, he needs to fit into the routine of the house, a concept, which in all fairness was a bit scary and foreign to Amelio, with him being away for so many years.
The family, for their part, made every attempt to get Amelio to come home, if only for a visit. They continually pressed him, all with love, to rejoin the family. Not every method they used was a brilliant scheme (hindsight being 20/20), but they only knew that their family was incomplete, and their son, was lost in a sea of misdirection. They tried criticism, cajoling, pleading - everything, but their son refused to respond. Instead, he argued and complained that the family doesn't really want him to be a part of them, because if they did, then they would leave the warmth of their home; give up their address and come to live with him (He really believes this, even though his address keeps changing and he's not sure where he'll be living tomorrow).
In Amelio's mind, it was his family who left him. Somehow, he's convinced himself that they abandoned him and retreated into their "home," leaving him. "For how could he have ever lived in that home," says his mind, "they must have left me." And so, Amelio continues on, decrying his separation from his home and family, but refusing to simply walk through the door. If you see him, out and about, tell him that his family misses him, his dinner is being kept warm, and the door is always open. We're at the same address, the same window, he crawled out of, and if he decides to crawl back in, we'll promise to act as if he never left, except to give him a hug and say, "Welcome home, son. Welcome home."
|
Home